"Got Chrome??? How about Armor???"

Discussion in 'General Truck Forum' started by Railsplitter, Dec 20, 2010.

  1. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    #381 WideTheF#%Open, Apr 19, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
    Talked to a gal at the title agency today, same gal who handled the title business when I bought my house... she's a looker too, just like the gal who stopped by to tour my home, there are some real fine-lookin' wimmin here in Arizona. Anyway, I'm thinking of selling my home through the title agency instead of a realtor, I spent hours reading up on capital gains taxes and whatnot, and I may be exempt from capital gains tax because I'm a complete (jobless) broked!ck, LOL, and my "tax bracket" is right down there among the poor & homeless, AYE??? At least it is right now, LOL, so all I'd hafta pay is AZ state income tax on any actual profit from the sale of my home... there's some other gubmint bull$h!t involved with "depreciation" but it didn't amount to much, and chances are I'll skip the country anyway, LOL. Go find some poor woman in a non-extradition country and buy her, the house, and two dozen kids for the equivalent of $50 USD, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WTF, I'll put the kids to work fishing and farming, abuse the woman even further as a sex slave, and set up a 24-hour rum or whiskey still in the woods out back... :eek:

    Just kidding, except for the part about BBQing the kids when things eventually get tight... "CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST" and "THE GREEN INFERNO" gots nothin' on me, LOL. Where the heck is that BBQ sauce??? Damn. On a lighter note, I went into the forest today to visit the grave of little Jingle Belle, the poor cat I lost on MLK Day due to accidental poisoning of some sort... or what some call "secondary poisoning" when a cat eats a bird or other critter which has already been poisoned, 10-4??? Spoke a few words over her grave, then drank a couple o' beers while cranking Johnny Cash on the car stereo... it was windy out there today, with clouds flyin' by and dust devils a-whirlin' through the forest, so I didn't bother taking any photos as I had planned, the ones I already posted on the Internet will have to do. Y'all may wonder why I visited the grave of my dead cat, and it's okay if y'all think I'm bat$h!t crazy, I just wanted to say "Goodbye" to little Jingles after sharing such a cool time with her... 14 months of our lives here in this earthly paradise, not so easy to forget and walk away. This tune was heard a dozen times in her honor:



    I couldn't find any other copy of this Johnny Cash tune on the Interwebs, and it has wholly-unrelated video to accompany the song, but to understand my mindset today as I drank a couple o' cold beers by Jingle Belle's grave, well, close your eyes and just listen to the music, 10-4??? I always thought of this particular tune as a Civil War song, even though J.C. sang his cover of the tune roughly a century later... I guess it could work as a WWI or WWII song, but to me it spoke of the Civil War when I first heard it years ago, and it still does. Gotta tell y'all, I shed a few tears today over the loss of Jingle Belle, she sure was a sweet little cat. I can be hard as nails and cruel as the grave to those who cross me or my family, but these kittehs of mine, they're like my kids, ya know??? And every time I lose one, it cuts right to my heart... little Jingles was much too young to die such a senseless and wasteful death. So much youth & vitality, so much spirit in a beautiful young creature, it really sucked to watch her die in my bathtub, knowing that there was nothing I could do except try to comfort her in her final moments... :(

    I'M OFF TO DRINK BEER AND FIGURE OUT HOW I'M GONNA SLING THIS HOUSE OF MINE, TO HECK WITH THESE GREEDY REALTOR SCUMBAGS... I'M TIRED OF DEALIN' WITH 'EM, AYE??? :gtruck:

    Edit: So I looked into the history of these lyrics, and the song was actually brought to the United States by Irish immigrants in the 1850s... it was sung in Union & Confederate campsites during the Civil War, which explains my feeling that it was a Civil War tune. It was often mistaken for a song related to WWI, but that was not the case. Ya learn something new every day, but the old stuff, it's hard to beat, which is probably why I shed a few tears today over the grave of Jingle Belle. :bawling:
     
  2. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    So the fake kike newsfeeds claim 4 dead in a Waffle House shooting... is NOTHING sacred anymore??? When I lived out on the road, I used to love hittin' that place after a night of partying... good ol' greasy American food with plenty o' starch and fat to soak up the alcohol in your system. My favorites were always the Double Plate and the Hash Browns with EVERYTHING... omelets too if dawn was approaching. Health food it was NOT, but it sure tasted good, and you could hear decent tunes from the jukebox as you ate your meal. If I were REALLY hungry, I'd order BOTH the Double Plate & the Hash Browns done all seven ways... in those days, I was fit and active, and I could put away some food. I'm still fit for my age, but I don't eat anywhere near as much as I used to when I was a younger man. And it wasn't like I ate at Waffle House every day either, mainly on Friday or Saturday nights, or in the wee morning hours of Saturday and Sunday. I miss those places, some of them had good cooks who could turn out a nice double cheeseburger and a delicious plate of hash browns. If that news blurb is real, I guess times have changed and now they have bullets on the menu... :eek:
     
  3. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    Well, here's the latest drama: the scumbag realtor lowballed me on the estimate of the "current value" of my home, and somehow talked me into listing it at $90K. Had a full-price offer, no contingencies, within 24 hours, which increased my suspicion: sure enough, when I studied the market in greater depth and checked the estimates on various websites, they were all at LEAST $10K higher, and I wanted to price the house higher than that, yeah? I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to the first price, but the scumbag p!$$ed me off so I cancelled the listing and told the douche he could no longer be trusted. Thing was, the fine print of the listing agreement said the $h!theel could still collect his commission even if somebody else sold the property, PFFFFFFFT. :mad:

    I'll tell y'all, I'm no good at dealing with these SHYSTERS & HUCKSTERS in modern society, I don't think like a CRIMINAL SCUMBAG so I guess I make an easy mark, despite every effort at self-edumacation through the Interwebs. Anyway, I told this douche I was gonna file criminal complaints with regard to the underpricing scam, but eventually contacted the scumbucket and told him to relist the home at $120-125K, so I have room for negotiation and I can still bail outta here with $100K after paying this SHYSTER P.O.S. his commission. I'd like to pay him with a blast of double-aught buck to the head, but I made the mistake of signing the listing agreement, which is in fact a legal contract. Meh, we'll see what happens, I have time yet before I relocate. :confused:

    The only good news here is that this is a red-hot real estate market, and there are a $h!tload of "political refugees" streaming out of the Socialist Republik of KaliMexiFornia, cash money burning holes in their pockets as they look for new digs in the White Mountains. I reckon that's why the realtor scumbag tried to burn me, so he and his "straw buyer" could turn around and make an extra $20-30K on the transaction, which would have sure beat a lousy 6% commission, AYE??? I know there are laws in place to deter such criminal activity, but look at the examples set by the so-called "lawmakers" themselves: nothing but CRIMINAL BULL$H!T slung by the friggin' perps in office. No wonder this country is swirling down the $h!tter, and going FAST, yeah??? o_O

    ANYWAY, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE LISTING IS RENEWED, IT WAS UP IN THE TOP 10% OF LISTINGS VIEWED FOR A DAY OR SO, LOL. :rolleyes:

    MEH, I'M TOO OLD SCHOOL, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS HONOR OR INTEGRITY WHEN DEALING WITH THESE SHYSTER SCUMBAGS NOWADAYS, THE GREEDY B@STARDS... :no:
     
  4. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    Stumbled across a couple of videos today:





    In the second video, the dude belly-flopping from height into the shallow inflatable pool gets my vote for MOST RADICAL & STYLISH JUMPER, LOL... :eek:

    Dude must have been HAMMERED to even attempt such a maneuver... :bow:

    The others are alright: the jumpers on the tower in Dubai, the Swiss dude (certifiably insane) who leapt into the punchbowl at the base of those falls, the Krazy Kids having fun leaping off cliffs... meh, they're all good to go. :confused:

    CHEERS, YOUSE TRUCKFORUM.ORG FOOLIOTS!!! :drunk:

    I'M STILL DEALIN' WITH THE ENDLESS PARADE OF LOOKIE-LOOS DRIVIN' BY THE HOUSE... LIKE CAREER N!G%#R THUGS DRIVIN' BY A ROCKHOUSE IN COMPTON LOOKIN' TO GET PAID, 10-4??? :rolleyes:
     
  5. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    Meh, here are a few video links which say it all right now...







    F#% IT, Y'ALL FIGURE IT OUT, LOL... :confused:
     
  6. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    Ever since I drop-kicked that one wanker off my property, I've been getting heaps of spam e-mails... I think the jackhole gave my e-mail address to a bunch of online ad agencies. I'll clearly have to close that account and open another under a new address, but I'm thinking I'd better wait till AFTER the home sale, I don't want anything to slow down the sale or f#% it up, 10-4? So I'm deleting 40 or 50 spam e-mails at a time, something like 100-150 per day---no big deal, easy enough to do, but in the process I've noticed something truly amazing, and I wanna share this observation with y'all... :cool:

    Ya see, I lost my youthful charm awhile back---it fell off a truck about a million miles ago---yet with the advent of all this spam e-mail, dozens of gorgeous and hot, horny wimmin wanna hook up with me. Can it be, has a MIRACLE occurred and somehow I've regained my youthful charm??? To the point where wimmin find me attractive again??? My wallet is still thin, so THAT can't be it... though I DID turn down an offer of $100K for the house, I'm holding out for $110K so I can pay off the scumbag realtor and still slope outta here with at least $100K, you understand. Nice round figure... o_O

    I'm just wondering whether a tired old man can MIRACULOUSLY regain the looks and charm of his youth... is such a thing possible??? Truth be told, these half-naked wimmin are quite attractive to me as well, each one seems so honest and sincere, I'm ready to impart all personal info, SSN, bank account & pin numbers, etc., etc., to each and every gal. WTF, maybe I can marry all of 'em over the Internet, this being Mormon Country... sign over half my property to each gal, that way a massive debt clusterf#% will develop when things fall apart and I'm repeatedly kicked to the curb. :confused:

    JUST THOUGHT I'D SHARE THE GLORIOUS NEWS WITH MY "GOOD INTERNET FRIENDS" HERE AT TRUCKFORUM.ORG---IT'S A MODERN-DAY MIRACLE, BOYZ!!! :party:

    HALF-NAKED SPAMMER CHICKS, THE LINE FORMS TO THE LEFT... :woot:

    SHEEEEE-IT, I'LL SOON RACK UP ENOUGH DEBT TO MAKE THE GUBMINT LOOK LIKE A BUNCH O' PIKERS!!! ;)

    NOW, WHERE'S MY WALLET AND THOSE FRIGGIN' BANK CARDS??? :eek:
     

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