I hate this time year but its worse this time

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by dirtrider73068, Dec 8, 2017.

  1. dirtrider73068

    dirtrider73068 Senior Moderator
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    I normally hate this time of year, not much money to buy gifts for who I want, for me its just a real depressed time. But its worse as right now my grandmother who I was very close to is on her death bed as I type this. The hospice nurse gave us a 72 hour notice that there could be not much time left. I was avoiding going to see her as I can not handle seeing her like this.

    She was guess a way to put frail looking not what I am use to seeing was reall really hard seeing her in the state she is. I love her very dearly and don't want to see her go, even though she mumbled tonight she was ready, she knows its her time and is ready I can't handle it.

    I need all the prayers I can get in this time, even now I am trying to not loose but know that day and time is close and to loose her right before christmas is going to be harder. But I know she will be in a better place will be my grandfather, her son and daughter as well. My family was big there are or were 8 brothers and sisters she had a big family.

    I have alot of good memorys with her I will always have and cherish. My favorite was always raiding her closet for candy she had stashed I would try to find then ask her if she had any candy knowing she had it already. The smells of good home cook southern style food in the kitchen or finding her outside in the garden working the ground, picking beans or cutting okra, or seeign her in heat of teh kitchen canning everything from the garden.

    Don't life for granted, spend those precious moments with those you lov family is important one day they are the next they can be gone. Take the time to be with them, blood is thicker than water.

    Here is to you grandma, you will always be in my thoughts you will be missed dearly.
     
  2. gmctrucks

    gmctrucks Full Member

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    Prayers are in the way buddy.
     
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  3. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    Sorry to hear it, DR, but try to visit her at least one more time... chances are the hospice crew & doctors will have your grandma on medication like Dilaudid, so she shouldn't be in any pain. I went through this with my grandma and my mom, and I still love them both dearly... a doctor once told me that hearing is the last sense to go, so even if your grandma is lying at rest, get close to her ear and tell her ya love her, 10-4? Tell her what you said in your post: how you'll cherish all those memories of her, and how your grandpa and other family members will greet her soon. When my mom went into her final 72 hours, she was out of it most of the time, sedated with Dilaudid once she quit taking water... when we weren't saying our last goodbyes, my brother would play some very soft classical music for her. She was always big on music, you understand. I'll readily admit that I was grief-stricken and I cried when I last saw my mom alive, but I'm glad I went and said my last goodbyes... I knew I'd not be able to do this once she was gone. No normal person likes end-of-life situations, each time is rough and full of sadness, but there's also an opportunity to reflect upon all that your loved one has accomplished in life, and an opportunity to tell her just how you feel... as adults, we all make choices, and I'm not one to tell anyone else what to do, but I highly recommend that you visit your grandma at least one more time, and tell her you love her while you still have the chance. If I were dying but I still had my sense of hearing, sedated or not, there's nothing I'd like to hear more before I crossed the divide... and we all got it coming, no doubt about that. I say visit your grandma, in the long run you'll be glad you did, even though it's heller difficult at this time. And it's okay for a grown man to cry, it just proves he has a heart, yeah??? I still honor my ma and grandma to this day, with some of their things right here in my home... a decorative plate my grandma made and painted by hand, some crafts and whatnot my mom had and cherished. Peace to you and your family during this time of trial... just remember life goes on for those still around, and the sun will shine again on another day. :road:
     
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  4. dirtrider73068

    dirtrider73068 Senior Moderator
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    They have a seditive and nerve medication to keep her calm and some morphine to ease the pain she was hurting alot. Honestly rail I can't go see her again, it was hard enough when I seen her she so small and frail looking it just hurt too much. I know she knew I was there people can sense stuff like that.

    There is one thing I want she had trival to some but when I was younger everytime I went there I asked if I could have it, was a quartz rock she always told me when she dies I could have it, now we don't know where it is. But will find something else of hers I can have to keep those memories. I am thinking of getting some small pics and getting a locket I can wear to keep her close to my heart and anytime I miss her I can open it and have her close.
     
  5. gmctrucks

    gmctrucks Full Member

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    I just found out about my uncle as well they have him on hospice he has dementia real bad he has forgotten how to eat and drink so they are just making him comfortable this is moms last brother that lives he would always remember when my mom was alive in fact he would start crying because he misses her he would tell me of all my nephews and nieces your the only one that calls me so it makes me feel good because we got along real good.
     
  6. dirtrider73068

    dirtrider73068 Senior Moderator
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    My grandma had that dementia, she got guess you can say fiesty, argued alot with you, thought somebody was stealing her meds or taking my uncles clothes or taking her clothes. Had their stuff in the house it was a fight but the only thing you can do when somebody has dementia and they argue or fight with you or disagree is go along with it, if you try to tell them different it makes it worse. Kinda what we had to do with grandma was just go along and agree or do a redirection with her. And didn't dare touch or move anything in the house or she knew it and would make her upset.

    I ask mom last night if there was any changes with her and nothing yet. I just know pretty soon I am going to get that dreaded call. I have been trying for the past two years to prepare myself for this I knew it was going to happen but you can't really prepare for this type of things.
     
  7. WideTheF#%Open

    WideTheF#%Open Full Member

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    Hope she's comfortable and sedated in her final hours... that's what is most important, not much else you or the hospice crew can do. And mementos of loved ones are good, they help you remember the good times... any other kind of memories aren't worth keeping. I hope that when I die, I go fast, no prolonged deathbed scene for any family members who might be there... if I get hit by a loaded big truck tearing down some grade, that'll suit me fine, as long as it's quick, aye? Not trying to be insensitive here, I've been through this end-of-life process too many times as it is, and that's not counting all the good friends who've died weird untimely deaths in their youth or middle age. Then there are all those poor kids who are born with serious illnesses and whatnot... I remember how my friends & I would go to the boneyard atop Pt. Loma (Fort Rosecrans Nat'l Cemetery, heller view there) to pound beers and read the headstones, the saddest one I ever read was for two kids, twins who were born and died on the same day, alive for only a matter of hours. Your grandma lived a long full life, and any person who puts his or her hands into the soil to grow things, well, that person is A-OK in my book. My mom, bless her dear departed soul, she used to love gardening, and she had a serious green thumb. Moi, I was growing dope in "Cabo Corner"---a great growing spot on the old beach property, concrete patio slab surrounded on three sides by the house, the temps would cook there and plants would grow fast as long as ya kept 'em watered, LOL---but me beloved mum stuck to ornamental flowers and vegetables and whatnot. Your grandma sounds like a good woman, I sincerely hope her passing is easy, at least you have the hospice crew to help, and that does make a big difference, as I've learned through bitter experience. Again, peace to you and your family during this time of trial... my condolences with regard to your grandma, may she rest in eternal peace. :road:
     
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  8. gmctrucks

    gmctrucks Full Member

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    dr and guys well my uncle just passsed away I just got the call it sure hurts when a love ones passes away I do know he’s in a better place but it’s still hard knowing that I can’t see or call him now I know you started this thread but I didn’t want to start another sad one I hope grandma is ok.
     
  9. dirtrider73068

    dirtrider73068 Senior Moderator
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    gmc I know the feeling all to well, lost a uncle to cancer he was a great guy funny love to play jokes, I am alot like him what I say and what I do. No word on grandma yet, I shoudl have text my mom this evening asking about her will need to in the morning if can think of it if not busy at work get a check in of whats going. Kinda has me wondering though, maybe my mom is holding back telling me but don't think she would do that, if she passes she would call me and let me know.
     
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  10. gmctrucks

    gmctrucks Full Member

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    You know I asked the LORD to take him fast I didn’t want him to suffer along with us feeling bad for him and I’m praying for your grandma buddy I’m here for you.
     

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