I normally hate this time of year, not much money to buy gifts for who I want, for me its just a real depressed time. But its worse as right now my grandmother who I was very close to is on her death bed as I type this. The hospice nurse gave us a 72 hour notice that there could be not much time left. I was avoiding going to see her as I can not handle seeing her like this. She was guess a way to put frail looking not what I am use to seeing was reall really hard seeing her in the state she is. I love her very dearly and don't want to see her go, even though she mumbled tonight she was ready, she knows its her time and is ready I can't handle it. I need all the prayers I can get in this time, even now I am trying to not loose but know that day and time is close and to loose her right before christmas is going to be harder. But I know she will be in a better place will be my grandfather, her son and daughter as well. My family was big there are or were 8 brothers and sisters she had a big family. I have alot of good memorys with her I will always have and cherish. My favorite was always raiding her closet for candy she had stashed I would try to find then ask her if she had any candy knowing she had it already. The smells of good home cook southern style food in the kitchen or finding her outside in the garden working the ground, picking beans or cutting okra, or seeign her in heat of teh kitchen canning everything from the garden. Don't life for granted, spend those precious moments with those you lov family is important one day they are the next they can be gone. Take the time to be with them, blood is thicker than water. Here is to you grandma, you will always be in my thoughts you will be missed dearly.